Remember, kids...every time you click a link at this site, we rescue a gorilla from the Congo.
And every time you don't, we shoot one.
We're playing hardball now.
WAKE UP THE MASSES!!! Welcome to Something Clever. Let's waste some time together...
I'm fixin to go all 'Dick Cheney' up in this piece!!!
An American woman is set to have a total mid-face reconstruction after losing her eyes and nose in a horrific shooting accident. Apparently, when Chrissy Steltz was just 16, her best friend accidentally shot her in the face at point blank range. With a shotgun. She's had to wear a mask on her face for over 10 years. Now, at age 27, she's ready to receive a prosthetic that will hopefully restore the natural shape of her face.
OK, There are 2 things that drive me crazy:
1. Her insurance company won't cover the $20,000 surgery because it's considered "cosmetic." REALLY? The girl got her face blown off, but the fact that she wants it back is vain? Take THAT, common sense and decency! Good going, insurance companies.... Luckily, the doctors are doing it pro bono. Good job, guys.
2. This is very important...once you shoot your friend in the face, the friendship is OVER. DONE. We cannot be cool after you shot me in the face. There's a lot of things I forgive. You dated my ex? It happens. You owe me some money? We'll work it out. You shot me in the face with a shotgun at point blank range? I'm gonna be a little bitter. Who accidentally shoots people in the face???
"Oh man, I don't know what happened! I just loaded the shell, and took the safety off, and cocked it back and pointed it at her face and pulled the trigger until i felt the recoil! It all happened so fast!.....are you ok?"
Whatever. What happened to her was terrible, and I'm glad medical science is being worthwhile for once, and trying to help her out. In my humble opinion, Chrissy should at least get to shoot her friend back. And her friend doesn't get to know when it's coming.
Thats the pot calling the kettle HICK
Republican Tim James is running for governor of Alabama, and he hates foreign languages. In this ad, he sneeringly announces, "This is Alabama. We speak English. If you want to live here, learn it."
We can talk all day about racism, bigotry and politics. And, in this case, it would be warranted. But as a southerner, I'll simply say this:
Mr. James. I've BEEN to Alabama. I don't know what language you tobacco spitting rednecks are speaking, but I promise it is NOT English.
In English, you have to pronounce the "er" and the "ing" that you see at the end of words. "Git" is not a word. "Mosey" is not a speed. This is America. We speak English. If you want to be a governor here, learn it.
Any questions?
What'd you say about my momma???
The NFL Draft was held last week, and there were a lot of teams interviewing potential players leading up to it. Asking a player about his past before you spend millions of dollars on him makes perfect sense, but some things are just too far. What's that? You want me to provide an example? I'd be happy to!
Jeff Ireland, the General Manager for the Miami Dolphins released a statement of apology to Oklahoma State wide receiver Dez Bryant. The reason? During the team interview, Ireland asked Bryant if his mother is a prostitute.
WOW!
What's the correct answer to that question? Hmm...I'll take "Bust you in the face with a bag of nickels" for $500, Alex!
Even if you thought this was true, it's not pertinent information! Why would you ask someone that?? Irelands excuse was, he'd been told that Bryants mother had him at 15, and served time in jail for selling crack. OK, fine. So from that information, you deduced that she must be a hoe? Then you ask her SON about it? I don't know if this is racist, or prejudice or just dumb. The only thing I know is Jeff Ireland needs to get beaten in the face with a football cleat. That was uncalled for! But props to Dez Bryant for taking the whole thing in stride, and simply saying that he did not want to play for the Dolphins. He could have beaten that man like an unruly child in a Wal-Mart, and I couldn’t have blamed him if he did! But he didn't. Good job, bro.
Side Note: Bryant was drafted by the Dallas Cowboys, which works for him, because he's from Texas. Now his mom...who is NOT A PROSTITUTE...can attend all the games.
Somebody needs to accidentally shoot Jeff Ireland in the face...
See you Friday!
Watts
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