Greetings Clever-Fam:
Two weeks ago, I did a blog about rebooted movies. With the mass influx of 80's remakes being shoved down our throats, I thought it would be nice to talk about some movies that need to be reimagined and some that shouldn't. I wanted to spend more time on it, so we didn't publish it then. We were going to publish it today, but again, I decided against it. Why? I'll tell you why!
The #1 movie I wanted to see again...hands down...without question...
Back to the Future
That movie probably helped define my childhood. Why WOULDN'T I want to bring back that time-traveling car? Unfortunately, BTTF is one of those movies that has to be done right. So many people love that movie, and die-hard fans will destory you if you taint their memories (i.e. George Lucas, M. Night Shymalan). It's a delicate situation, but it is possible.
Or so I thought . . .
It turns out Hollywood beat me to the punch, and several sources say that Back to the Future is on it's way to a reboot. And I'm already upset. For starters, it doesn't look like Robert Zemeckis, the original director, is going to be involved in the project. That bothers me a lot. I know that if you look at the movie today, it doesn't look that amazing, but keep in mind, the movie is 25 years old. There are a lot of effects and techniques that wouldn't exist today is it weren't for that movie and that director. In short: Robert Zemeckis is the director that Michael Bay wishes he was.
Second, and perhaps most importantly...rumor has it that the movie is being developed as a vehicle for none other than this bloggers mortal enemy:
JUSTIN BEIBER!!!
What in God's name would posess someone to do this? Justin Beiber is not an actor. And if you want him to be an actor, put him in a Disney movie about a polar bear and a penguin that become friends and sing songs about how cold it is.(I'm very aware that polar bears and penguins are from different poles. For the sake of the joke, suspend disbelief.) You don't take the flavor of the month who has no real acting experience and put him in a remake of a classic movie. The crowd he would draw probably wouldn't appreciate it anyway. I don't need a bunch of teeny-bopper whoo-girls crowding the theater on opening night.
Also, Beiber looks like he's 12 years old. There's no way I would believe that he's a senior in high school and has a girlfriend that's talking marriage. Not to mention that having a pre-teen in the movie is going to make Doc Brown look like a pedophile. Can we at least get someone that can looks the part?
And I'm not saying I have all the answers. I admit, I've sucked as some casting decisions before. I never believed that Heath Ledger would pull off a good Joker until I saw it. I'm a Robert Downey Jr. fan, and even I didn't think he could stay sober enough to do Iron Man. (I did, however, say that Eric Bana would be a clusterbunch of FAIL as The Hulk.) I admit, I'm hit-or-miss. But the sheer thought of having Beiber on a booster seat attempting to drive a Delorean makes me sick, and it's enough to make Michael J. Fox roll over in his grave.
What's that? Michael J. Fox is alive? You sure? Well then...good news!
My message to Hollywood is: You're not supposed to give people roles just because you can. This isn't something you should mess around with. I have no problem telling you that I will NOT see this movie if you cast Justin Beiber. You don't get to put a buzzworthy name in an iconic role just because it'll get a lot of press. Not all publicity is good publicity. If you don't believe me, ask O.J. Simpson and Mike Tyson. I IMPLORE you to reconsider. Rumor or not, this is a horrible idea.
THAT BEING SAID:
If I were casting this remake, here's who I think should be in a new Back to the Future:
Mary McFly: Zac Efron
I can hear you calling for my death, but give me a minute...I'm gonna back up this opinion!
Michael J. Fox was 24 when he played the high-schooler McFly. Zac Efron is 23, and he's been playing a high-school kid for pretty much his whole career, so by now, he knows what he's doing. Besides that, the character doesn't have to be a tough guy; he needs to be a wise-cracking kid, who's just a little clueless and freaks out when someone calls him "chicken". I think Efron can pull that off.
Emmit "Doc" Brown: Sam Rockwell
Whether you've heard of him or not, the dude has range. Whoever plays Doc Brown needs to be neurotic, yet warm and intelligent...and smart. Sam Rockwell has pretty much made a living playing neurotic characters (Moon, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Iron Man 2). He wouldn't have the age factor that Christopher Lloyd had, but I think he's a decent fit for the role.
Jennifer Parker/McFly: Blake Lively
If you don't know who she is, please go click on my blog from last Friday (The Hottest Girls You've Never Heard Of), it's well worth the extra time. In the original Back to the Future, we don't see a lot of Marty's girlfriend. All she really has to do is look hot. And Blake Lively does that so....SO well. Now remember, if they get into Back to the Future 2, she'd have to step it up, because she has to play Marty's wife in the future. Put some makeup on her, CGI it, I don't care. She's my top pick.
Biff Tannen: Lucas Black
You may not know the name, but trust me, you know him. The QB from Friday Night Lights (in my opinion, top 3 sports movie, ever). The main character in Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift. He's the epitome of high school tough guy. Plus, it won't be hard to make him look old for the shots of "present day" when he works for Marty's dad.
That's all I'm gonna do for now. As always, comments are welcome, and I'm interested to see who you guys would pick for the movie. Unless you agree with the Justin Beiber casting. If so, you can kick rocks. That's all for today, thanks for reading, and I'll see you...in the future!!!!!!!
So corny. See you Monday.
...and for Christ's sake, bring back Huey Lewis!!!!!!
Twitter.com/GuiltyWatts
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