Racism, Narcotics, and Stolen Electronics...it's the LAPD garage sale!


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WAKE UP THE MASSES!!! Welcome to Something Clever. Here's some stuff that barely qualifies as news:













Coming to stores soon: 'Getaway Barbie'!

 

You can't make this crap up.

A man in Essex, England has been arrested, charged with drunk driving, and sentenced to have his license suspended for 3 years.

The vehicle of choice? The Barbie Jeep.

Apparently, the 40 year-old Paul Hutton, who is 6 feet tall, got a little tipsy, and decided he was gonna show off the car to a friend (showing off a child's toy...that's not creepy at ALL!). The friend lived 500 yards away. But did Mr. Hutton pick it up and take it over? No, sir! That's NOT how we roll! He squeezed his body into that 4-foot by 2-foot car! Mind you, this car was made for three to five year-olds, and it runs on a 12v battery.

He then proceeded to wreak havoc on the streets of Essex at speeds in excess of 4 mph!! Luckily, the police did pull him over before anyone was hurt. (by "pull over" I mean "someone walked up to the car with a very confused look, and probably kicked it a couple of times to get it to stop")

There's no doubt that this was stupid. But 3 years with a suspended license? I don't think they should be able to take away your right to drive a vehicle if your not actually DRIVING a VEHICLE! You want punishment? Make him drive the Barbie Jeep for the next year. Arrest him if he's seen driving a car. THAT'S justice, people!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1267136/Father-banned-driving-getting-wheel-toy-Barbie-car-drunk.html



In An Octopuses Garden? OK, I get it now...

 

After all these years, somebody found John Lennon's secret stash!

OK, so if you don't know (and I didn't, because I'm not THAT much of a Beatles fan), the legend is that John Lennon buried a large quantity of LSD in his garden in 1967 when The Beatles declared they had given up drugs in favor of transcendental meditation.But when the band returned from India, John decided he had a change of heart, and shouldn't have given up on drugs so easily (we've all been there, right?....right?.....OK, fine, just me). The point is, he went back to the garden and tried to dig up the acid- but he never found it.

Now, over 40 years later, builders digging up the lawn of his old house came across the remains of a leather pouch containing several large broken glass bottles. Technically, they don't know for sure if this is it, because all the bottles were either broken or had cracked corks, but honestly, what ELSE could have been in there?

What's funny to me is that, according to the story, John Lennon quit drugs, and THEN forgot something. Doesn't that usually happen when you're still using them? I'm actually disappointed that the bottles weren't in tact. I'm interested to see what 40 year old LSD can do to you? Does LSD age, like alcohol? Hmph...now we'll NEVER know!    :(

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/world/john-lennon-enthusiasts-uncover-singers-hidden-lsd-stash/story-e6frev00-1225855660321


Stolen iPhone 4g?



You've probably heard about this, but if not, check this out. Gizmodo.com says someone brought them a phone that they claim was left in a bar. The phone looks a lot like an iPhone 3GS with some slight aesthetic differences on the case. But they took it apart, and it is NOT. Bigger processor, different camera, higher res screen...this is an iPhone 4G!

Now, I'm not gonna get deep into the tech specs. If you're an Apple fan, you know what the new phone is supposed to have. All I want to know is if this thing is for real! You may not remember, but about 8 months ago, an Apple employee lost a 4G prototype. At the time, there were only 10 in existence. THAT guy was so depressed, he committed suicide! So who the heck lost THIS phone? Why would they make that mistake twice?

Well, after checking numerous sites, all signs point to either an elaborate viral hoax/publicity stunt from someone on the inside, or this is for real. It's not the final version, but it is a text phone running a beta of the the new OS. The smart phone war is getting serious. Soon, we'll hear about an HTC Evo getting left in a mens room in New Mexico.

http://gizmodo.com/5520164/this-is-apples-next-iphone

http://www.electronista.com/articles/10/04/18/next.gen.iphone.sighting.may.not.be.final.design/



Nom Nom...that's good racism!

Ok, as a blogger, I know that syntax errors and misprints happen. But were dealing with here is no mere misprint. This is what I like to call  a nice big slice of WHAT THE CRAP?!?!?! Penguin Group Australia had to reprint 7,000 copies of popular cookbook Pasta Bible last week. The reason? A recipe for Tagliatelle Pasta with Sardines and Prosciutto. It calls for "salt and freshly ground black pepper." But according to THIS cookbook, it calls for "salt and freshly ground black people."

Seriously??? You mean to tell me that a proof-reader...whose ONLY job is to proof-read...missed THIS one? Read, dummy! It's all you have to do! You bind books, you don't write books, you just read! And you missed this culinary, racist bundle of FAIL??? The worst part is, Penguin Group head of publishing, Bob Sessions, said "We're mortified that this has become an issue of any kind, and why anyone would be offended, we don't know." You don't know...you DON'T KNOW??? Ok, cool. Coming out this summer, the Something Clever cookbook! Every recipe is gonna call for "crushed crackers." And you know EXACTLY what I mean by that!


http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8627335.stm






That's all that mattered to me today. Thanks for reading. More stuff coming soon, including several concert reviews, the Iron Man 2 premiere (in Washington D.C., not L.A. We ain't rich.), and some funny videos.Well...WE think their funny. We'll see you Wednesday. Drive well, sleep carefully, goodnight!!!


Watts

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