How come we can't have them yet? Racism! I KNEW IT!
WAKE UP THE MASSES! This is Something Clever. Did you miss me?
Sorry for the layoff, people. I was out of town, then I was tired, then my editor disappeared on me (not naming any names). But I'm back, and here's the stuff that kinda matters:
The Last FAILbender
One of the most highly anticipated movies of the summer was M. Night Shyamalan's "The Last Airbender." (They couldn't all it Avatar because some D-bag named James Cameron bought a copyright on the word "Avatar". Go figure.) It's based on the very popular cartoon and was shot in 3D. It is also one of the worst reviewed movies of all time. Critics hate it. Fans hate it. Everyone hates it. I can't even post the fan reviews I read on this movie because they're riddled with profanity and shame. This movie got a "9" on Rotten Tomatoes. By the way, that's a scale of 1 to 100, not 1 to 10. Let me give you some perspective on that:
Remember "From Justin to Kelly"? Yeah, me neither, barely. It came out at the height of 'American Idol'. It basically was a 'Grease' type of teen musical. It made $5 million. Worldwide. Most big movies make that in one theater. Entertainment Weekly said: "It's like Grease: The Next Generation acted out by the food court staff at Sea World."
Sounds horrible, right? That movie scored a "9" on Rotten Tomatoes as well. Just so you know the company that this movie keeps. Now, I didn't see it because everyone I know that saw it gave it a horrible review. I'm not even that big a fan of the cartoon, so I didn't want to spend my money on this garbage. I invite anyone who did see it to leave a comment below or hit me up on Facebook. The movie is still #2 at the box office, so either EVERYONE is wrong, or we're still waiting on the other shoe to drop.
What a year for ethinicites in movies, huh? We got a white "Airbender" a black "Karate Kid" and a jewish "Prince of Persia." I'm throwing out my vote for a Puerto Rican "Spider-Man".
Lindsay Lohan Sentenced to 90 Days in Jail
Proof that there is a just and merciful God.
World Cup Finals Soon to be Decided
They're STILL playing soccer?!?!
iPhone 4 Users Furious at Poor Antenna. Apple Basically Tells Them to Buy a Case or Screw Off.
Is this really surprising? The phone runs on AT&T. I'm surprised they have any signal at all. Besides, didn't you hear? They hate black people.
LeBron James Will Hold a Press Conference to Announce What Team He'll go to Next Season
Some people say this is selfish, egotistical and arrogant, but I disagree! He deserves this huge amount of publicity and attention. Think of all the championships he...appearances in the NBA Finals he...wait...he hasn't won anything? EVER? Wow...ok, nevermind, I guess.
I don't give a crap where LeBron James plays next year! That dude made more money before breakfast than I will in my life! I'm not a hater, but it's a little hard for me to sympathize with his "complex decision making process"...which takes place during prime time on ESPN.
That's the blog people. Remember, I'm here every Monday, Wednesday and Friday (sometimes) and follow me on Twitter @GuiltyWatts.
Next time I'm deciding between wearing Jordans or Air Force 1's on a Saturday night. I'm gonna hold my own 1 hour special. ESPN probably wouldn't pick it up....YouTube, maybe???
Watts
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