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Over the top?
WAKE UP THE MASSES!!! This is Something Clever.
No news today. Today, I want to talk about something close to my heart. Something I turn to in times of need. Something that has never disappointed me or let me down.
Alcohol.
Isn't it great? It can be cold, it can be hot. It can make you get up and dance, it can make you lay down. It can make you fall in love, it can make you leave somebody! Oh, so many uses...
But an earlier conversation led me to write this blog, and it's about one thing: wierd drinks and funky names. Have you ever heard someone at the bar order something that sounds less like a drink and more like a Stephen King novel? Everyone has. Maybe you have. There are some names you hear that make you say "Why the CRAP would I drink that?" But...whats in a name? Well, I'm about to tell you. Here's a list of some favorites, and some that you may not have ever heard of.
And probably one or two that you'll WISH you never heard of.
The Girl Scout Cookie
This one is pretty well known. It's a shot of Bailey's and Goldschlagers. Shoot it fast, and it really does taste just like a cookie...gingerbread, if I remember correctly. Tasty...but if you're lactose intolerant, this WILL come back to bite you. But since we're talking about Goldschlager...
The Nature Boy, Rick Flair
WHOO! Yes, an ode to the wrestling legend! This one's easy: Goldschlager and Jager. I've never had it, but I've heard it can put you in a real "figure 4." (Yes, that was a pro wrestling joke. Yes, I'm comfortable with that.)
Harvey Wallbanger
I want this drink just so I can order it in public. It's a Screwdriver (Orange Juice and Vodka) with a shot of Gallieano. Sounds tasty.
Boilermaker
This is a MANS drink. This will put hair on your chest, among other places. It's a glass of beer with a shot of whiskey. Bear in mind, a TRUE Boilermaker is Yeungling with a shot of Jack Daniels. Why? Simple: Americas oldest brewrey and Americas oldest distillery mixed together. Sidenote: don't be a wimp. Pour the shot in the beer, and drink it that way. Don't take a shot and let the beer be your chaser. That's not right.
VARIATION: Hockey Puck!
This is my own personal invention. It's Molson Canadian beer with a shot of Crown Royal. I also named it after a girl I knew that was from Canada, but we won't get into that...
Red Hooker
I don't mess with these. Either one. But if you're interested, it's Tequila, lemon juice and grenadine. Let me know how that goes for you.
Three Wise Men
Another one of my personal favorites. Jim Beam, Jack Daniels and Johnnie Walker. Take three shots, pour them over ice. After one of these, you may not be any wiser, but you will think you are.
VARIATION: The Four Horseman
I've heard people call this the "Three Wise Men and a Dirty Mexican". That's just wrong....really, really funny...but wrong! Anyway, it's Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, Johnnie Walker and Jose Cuervo. Try at your own risk.
Purple Haze
I've never had one, but I want to try one! Tequila, Rum, Vodka, Gin, Chamborde, Sweet and Sour and 7-Up. I have no clue what that concoction would taste like, but I need to find out!
Axe Murderer
While the previous drink was a concoction, this is an abomination. Rum, Pineapple Juice, Gin, 7-UP, Tequila, Triple Sec, Vodka, Southern Comfort, Amaretto and Grenadine. WHAT??? That sounds like something you can only order in a bar in Purgatory...or the Twilight Zone. I do not condone the making of this drink. I'm pretty sure the mixture of these ingredients will bring upon the Apocalypse (see: Four Horseman).
This next one is becoming my favorite. It was suggested to me by a friend of mine. I'd heard of it before, and it was referred to as the "Summer Punch". But I like this name much better:
Strip and Go Naked
Who DOESN'T want to try this.....drink! Who doesn't want to try this DRINK! OK, seriously, I've heard a few different recipes for this, but everyone seems to agree that you need beer, lemonade and vodka. If it's done the "southern way", you take a large pitcher, pour in 3 cans of beer, then 12 ounces of lemonade, then 12 ounces of vodka, then another 3 cans of beer. Some say you also have to add a can of 7up. Whatever it is, the result is obvious: it looks and tastes like lemonade, and because of that, people drink too much of it. Next thing you know, they're a little too tipsy, and they "strip and go naked." If you're gonna drink this, remember, you're drinking ALCOHOL. If you're known to "act a fool", don't drink this around people you plan on seeing again.
And last but not least:
Red Headed Slut
This drink tastes OK, but that's not what matters. It's hilarious to order! No matter where you are, someone will look at you like you've lost your mind until the bartender brings the drink. For the record, it's mainly peach sschnaaps and Jager. I don't really drink these, but I do enjoy the laughter that comes from ordering this...
VARIATION: Lindsay Lohan
Simple: It's a Red Headed Slut with some Coke.
I hope you guys enjoyed, and I hope you got a laugh. And this goes without saying, but while I do love a good drink or 3, I do not condone drunks! Drink responsibly and don't EVER try to get behind the wheel after drinking.
Just make sure you don't end up with DD duty after reading this one!
Watts
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